Chiron in leo digital pre-show

Chiron in Leo was originally intended to be a live performance before thanos’s snap. I decided to keep that same energy and create this digital pre-show for you to explore before or after watching my first short film, chiron in leo.

I pray this exploration supports your healing.

-J. Bouey

Watch the trailer for

Chiron in Leo

Rent Chiron in leo for only $10

I made a playlist of songs that guided me while making this film for you to listen to while you peruse around

Tidal

Spotify

Apple Music

“Among the most accomplished and fabled tribes in Africa, no tribe was considered to have warriors more fearsome or more intelligent than the mighty Maasai. It is perhaps surprising then to learn the traditional greeting that passed between Maasai warriors, “Kasserian ingera”, one would always say to another. It means, “And how are the children?”

It is still the traditional greeting among the Maasai, acknowledging the high value that the Maasai always place on children’s well-being. Even warriors with no children of their own would give the traditional answer, “all the children are well,” meaning that peace and safety prevail, the priorities of protecting young and the powerless are in place, that Maasai society has not forgotten its reason for being, its proper functions and responsibilities. “All the children are well,” means that life is good. It means that the daily struggles of existence, even among a poor people, do not preclude proper caring for its young.

I wonder how it might affect our consciousness of our own children’s welfare if in our culture we took to greeting each other with this same daily question: “And how are the children?” I wonder if we heard that question and passed it along to each other a dozen times a day, if it would begin to make a difference in the reality of how children are thought of or cared for in this country... I wonder if we could truly say without any hesitation, “The children are well, yes, all the children are well””

— Prologue of Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury & Healing by Dr. Joy Degruy, excerpted from a speech by Rev. Dr. Patrick T. O'Neill

Mental Health Resources

IMAGINING: A GIBNEY JOURNAL | ISSUE 5

Screen Shot 2021-05-21 at 12.52.56 PM.png

In this audio and transcript, I reflect on the journey of Chiron in Leo including what called me to this project, what I learned, and the astrological and mythological influences of Chiron.

“learning how to breathe
and be ok
when my mind
feels dark and gray

to accept
this passing moment
without suppression
or lasting fear

to know that

the clouds moving through me
do not define who i am
or who i will be

learning the art of letting go
has been the skill my mind
has always sought

now i see that i am a river
always changing
while movung gently
in the directuib if total liberty”

— an excerpt from clarity & connection by yung pueblo

Photo Gallery

photo by Chris Cameron courtesy of MANCC Forward Dialogues

photo of Peter Louis Mercedes-Phipps by Chris Cameron courtesy of MANCC Forward Dialogues

“Getting perspective on your terror and sharing it with others can reestablish the feeling that you are a member of the human race... Communicating fully is the opposite of being traumatized.”

— The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.

This interview guided me through self-doubt while writing

a film journal I started making in the process of working on this film

“Well, at some point — you only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”

— Maya Angelou in conversation with Bill Moyers

A retrospective conversation w/ Janae Williams/juh weems/@fatblackclit

This interview gave me a healthy framework to write about black trauma

This interview helped me find Chiron’s voice when writing

Books that guided me during the process

The Collection of Books that Guided Me Through Chiron in Leo

This book made trauma make sense for me, and offered valuable language and information that helped me craft the creative process. Invaluable.

This book conceptualized the traumas Black folx experience in america, and how it shows up in our relationships.

Thank you Maxine Montilus for bringing this book to my attention!

This book helped me find a definition of Love that affirmed my pain and humanized those who inflicted the harm.

This book gave my rage a context and clear target to direct my rage towards; white supremacy.

Thank you Kristopher Pourzal for giving me this book!

This book and journal helped me write into and through memories my mind suppressed to protect me, and allowed me to own my own stories.

This book gave me a clearer understanding of who Chiron is so we could work together.

Thank you lily bo for gifting me this book!

I was given this book my first year in college, and it helped me clarify my intention for this film; to be a guiding light through the darkness.

Thank you Jonathan Williams for passing this book down to me all those years ago.

This memoir allowed me to experience the healing of finding a reflection in someone else's traumas and triumphs.

Pharus' call to his mother broke me in the best way. We learned she wasn't going to his graduation and it reminded me how neglect by inaction can create deep traumatic wounds.

"what you talkin' 'bout did I love you girl I stayed alive for you..." -Eva

Thank you for helping us see the context of our parents’ love, Toni.

This book helped me see my mother as a Black Woman.

I returned to this book many times to ground myself while creating in and with trauma.

This book helped me step out of the past, and wield what I learned from the pain with confidence.

This book helped me step into the arena and wrestle with my demons.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the [person] who points out how the strong [person] stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the [person] who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends [themselves] in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if [they fail], at least fails while daring greatly, so that [their] place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

This book helped me get up and clean the messes I created while healing.

This book helped me shed the performance I put on and find worthiness in my authenticity. Mental illness, triggers, traumas, and all.

MAYA ANGELOU: You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great…
BILL MOYERS: Do you belong anywhere?
MAYA ANGELOU: I haven’t yet.
BILL MOYERS: Do you belong to anyone?
MAYA ANGELOU: More and more… I belong to myself. I’m very proud of that. I am very concerned about how I look at Maya. I like Maya very much.

This book is still settling in my sprit. On the surface, it helped me craft the narrative structure of Chiron in Leo.

Thank you Youthen Joseph for passing this book on to me.

“The opposite of recognizing that we’re feeling something is denying our emotions. The opposite of being curious is disengaging. When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away; instead, they own us, they define us. Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending — to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, ‘Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends.’”

— Rising Strong by Brené Brown